Ever been attacked by thoughts...,it’s the opposite of having a writers' block, well that's what's been happening to me, and it’s not funny. Life before blogging was actually quite simple, people gave me a brief and I wrote according to it. There were strict guidelines, simpleman, do this, simpleman do that, be funny… no, no, no… one likes dark humour for gods' sake, use only 20 words okay that’s all the space we have…. the client hates long copy ads… , restrictions, shackles and guidelines be damned, I had no problem dishing out what people wanted, but now that I’ve started to free-write, its just amazing, I just cannot write.

All in all today has been a real bad day, had gone over to the MIL(mother-in-law) house with the wife, rather i was dragged to the house by her. I enjoy going there quite often especially on weekends cause the MIL is a great cook, she enjoys cooking and feeding people, you know the type. But i prefer to go there on the weekends and definetly not on the weekdays, anyway so there i was on the first floor with a drink in my hand and walking down these really old stairs, heading towards the kitchen just in sight of a great meal, the house is pretty old and those damn stairs are older, i'm extremely careful while getting down but today i was in my own damn world.

It's been just about a month since i started writing on this blog. This is probably a good time to start writing about what this blog means to me, I'm a simpleman with a lot of questions. I've gone through life minding my own business, I generally stay out of people's way, I'm a follower by nature and not a leader, my epitaph would probably read "Here lies a person who got along with everyone, and lead a simple life". But a few incidents occurred in my life which made me take a look at my life and I decided that it was time for a change, time to change myself and time to change that epitaph. Over the course of few weeks, I've wandered the web and started writing on different blogs, a few times I've posted the same piece of work on different blogs, seeking answers. I hope to achieve insights into my own life by getting these questions answered. Eventually when i have learned enough i hope to start writing on those topics, hopefully sooner than later. But for now i have a lot of questions that need answered. Below are a list of questions that i asked and have got a few answers, as always i'm still looking for more.

What price do you have to pay for your dreams, especially when they are linked to someone else’s', we all have our own individual dreams and aspirations but what happens when you get married, you might be willing to take a chance with your life, but are you willing to take a chance with the other person's life. So often we take the other person for granted, he/she becomes a mute spectator in the process. When things are going fine nobody questions it, and then things fall apart, you lose money, you chalk up debts, you run around for loans, look for collateral, always searching for that one deal that will make things right. And at what point do you say that's enough, I have made a mistake and I failed. As always i just have questions with no answers.

I am not a big fan of Reality TV, never liked it for some strange reason, or maybe because of the fact that i like make-believe worlds. Recently, we'ed gone to a friend's place and for the first time i saw the Amercian Idol. I was stunned by the amount talent that is there, all of them were just amazing singers. And needless to say i have got hooked. I have realized one thing, never condone something without trying it.

I have roamed the net for a while now, writing at various blogs or even just hanging out, trying to fit in at one blog site or the other, some have the most obnoxious people, some have the usual snobs who form their own groups and alienate the rest, so i go from one to the other trying to figure out what suits me best, like all other brands one starts to feel a certain comfort level, a sense of belonging, and finally i seem to have found one that suits me, it's just been a few weeks at bloggerparty for me, i don't know what it is about bloggerparty, whether it's the small town feel to the blog (like someone mentioned it in another post) or it's the various bloggers that reside here, most seem to want to write rather than hunger for hits, but i'm beginning to like it here.

If a woman is more ambitious, capable and better at surviving in the corporate world is it better for the husband to be a stay at home dad. Do people look down upon such arrangements? What are the implications? Does the husband feel insecure about not contributing to the family income in a big way. Would love to get answers to these questions from any stay at home dads out there. Is it difficult to make the adjustments. What does it take.

For a long time I would never take part in debates, simply because i could always see both sides of the story, so I was never fully convinced about any argument. I’d start thinking seriously about one line of thought and then when I started thinking about the flip side I’d see their point too. For a long time I kept quite simply because I was not convinced about either sides. The dictionary describes the word fence-sitter as One who takes a position of neutrality or indecision in a controversial matter. That’s who I was; a person who doesn’t take any sides, avoids confrontations, doesn’t like to ruffle any feathers.

“Patience is a virtue

When i quit my job and started out on my own a lot of friends and even relatives thought that i was crazy, some thought that i was having some kind of a nervous break down, "How can you quit a steady job?", "How are you planning to support your family?" and "Why do you want to do something like this at this stage in your life". Some of my friends took me out for a drink and then ambushed me into talking about my future and why at this stage was i rocking the boat, when things were going so right for me. They asked me questions like "So, what's the plan?, What business are you planning to start". All i told them was look"I'm fed up with working for big companies that don't care, petty office politics, sucking up to people and clients, and i definetly don't want to be a part of the world where the client is always right, where infact the client is a complete moron, and yet we treat him like he is Einstein". Honestly when i quit my job all i knew was these were things that i didn't want to do.

lauramalach's post about "I think i'm in love with you" got me thinking about an incident that happened with a close friend of mine, let’s call him J. We were just starting college and being part of a group was cool, we were 4 guys and 3 girls, there was this really cute, outspoken, one of the boys kinda girl called S. J and S couldn’t stand each other at first but then something must have clicked cause they became really good friends. I know they both liked each other but none took the chance to tell the other about their feelings. They went around dating other people as if they didn’t care about each other but inside they must have been seething. Was it the fact that they didn’t want to hurt their friendship or was it an ego thing, you know waiting for the other to say the first word. I never got that close to S, but I knew that J liked her, it was a sensitive topic with him and I never pushed him about it. Yet in all those years they never said anything.

It's been over 3 months since i started woking from home, a bit of freelance writing, taking up a few small time production assignments for corporate films. It's been quite tough especially the non-working days. How do you cope with such days, i know there are a lot of people out there who have worked out of home, wonder if you could share a few thoughts. Any advice would be appreciated

An Innocent Millionaire- By Stephen Vizinczey

I’m the kind of guy who picks up a book not because of the author per se but because of the blurb at the back. The first time I read Stephen Vizinczey’s “An Innocent Millionaire

It's about 2 lost souls moving towards each other in a lonely world, 2 people both married at different stages in their life.
Bill Murray who plays a has-been actor, married, but neglects the family and Scarlett who plays the just out of college, married, don't know what i'm doing at this stage in my life. Both have given amazingly understated performances. The story is set in Tokyo where he is doing a commercial and she has accompanied her husband who is a photographer. Staying in the same hotel, bored and lonely they begin to explore Tokyo. The film portrays the cultural differences in a tasteful and humorous way.

Lethargy as described by any dictionary - is a state of sluggishness, drowsy dullness or apathy. They should also add “The silent killer of the soul