Sad Today

I was supposed to do another gig today, my day off. And yet again, nobody is available to come with me. AGAIN I had to cancel. Why the hell is everything so far away from me?

My resume would be so much fuller if I didn't have to keep calling and saying "I'm sorry. I can't make it. Please keep my info on file for the future." And I'm sure at that point, the directors crumble up my resume and pictures, and throw me in the garbage.

I hate getting lost. I am not going to drive 2 hours each way by myself, and risk getting lost out in the middle of nowhere, or worse, my car breaking down and being unable to call anyone for help because my cell phone loses reception.

It's not like I could just call my parents. Riiiiiight. Sure, they'd LOVE it if I called from some remote location, pursuing an acting job. And they'd be pissed because they would find out I lied to them about where I was going.

I told them I was in a zombie movie. AFTER the fact. If I would have told them prior to filming, they would be totally against it. You see, my parents are always imagining me as some helpless victim. It's always "be careful Sarah, bring your pepper spray."

I hate when other people inflict their worries upon me. I literally feel the worry as a tangible presence. I absorb it. And I don't like it one bit.